May 18th, 9:42 am

I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I’m sorry I don’t mean the world to you anymore. I’m sorry you are trying to forget about me. I’ve never regretted anything so bad until you broke up with me. it kills me. I know you get this a lot, because I’m not the first guy you hurt. but I’m not gonna be your friend. I love you too much to be your friend. seeing you with other guys is gonna kill me. but it’s something I must face because I messed up. I get it, I messed up bad but I hope you will forgive my mistakes. I’m sorry. you are everything I could want. you are everything I need. but sadly all good things must end, I must man up and face the consequences God has laid out for me on his master table. I’m sorry. I love you.

never together.

I know we will probably never be together like we used to be. yes it hurts, you probably moved on. I haven’t , guess it’s time . I was a jerk, I was mean and controlling, I let everything get the best of me. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve treated you better. I wished we could restart back to where we went to the movies. or to where we FaceTime. before everything started to fall apart . I wish I had acted better towards you. but I guess you didn’t want it like I did. I just want a second chance. it is killing me. I hate feeling like I’m competing with other guys. maybe I’m not even in the race no more. I love how you are friends with me and how y’all got along. she’s never talked bad about you. I miss you. it’s hard not knowing if you still feeling the same. sometimes I wish I never met you because I’m dying because I love you so much. Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.